What Would Jesus Discharge?

"I came not to send peace, but a sword." - Jesus

Remember that 1996 big-screen adaptation of Romeo and Juliet, featuring Danes, DiCaprio, Leguizamo, and a host of lessers stars waving stylized, chromed-up "SWORD 9mm" guns about?

It sets one to wondering, if the gospels were to be revisioned in modern settings, as so many of Shakespeare's plays have been (usually not to the best possible theatrical effect) what sort of martial metaphors would Jesus use?

Would Matt 10:34 read "I came not to make peace, but with a Peacemaker." Would Luke 22:36 be revised to say "But now if you have a purse, take it, and stash your handgun therein. If you don't have a handgun, sell your cloak and buy one."

In any event, one certainly gets the sense that Rep. Sally Kern is keeping Jesus's most martial metaphors in mind, taking them to heart, and even to work. I sure hope Jesus didn't say anything about killing gays for god or for sport.