Red State Cultural Planning Bureau

Notice how the awning is eerily unfamiliar to those used to seeing Falcone's in its original undomesticated state? There is a reason for this, and you can read all about it at The Mattatarian and Selfish Reasons. The best part is where our homegrown kultur polizei (Suzy Thrash, Ingrid Young, and Lydia Lee) are banned from the premises for legally enforcing their own xenophobia down the throats of all Edmondites. Well, maybe some of the locals were more than happy to swallow their drivel, but its too revolting for me to stomach.

How is it that these hardcore GOP'ers are all about free enterprise and competition until it waves the wrong flag? You can bet your sweet peppers that had the restaurant requested red, white, and blue (instead of green) colours they'd have gotten it through the central bureaucracy no problem. Of course, then the cuisine would suck wildly (hot dogs and hamburgers) but at least they would have the decor right.

All that aside, I would encourage pizza lovers everywhere to be true patriots and fight hometown fascism by patronizing this establishment. Your taste buds will love you for it!