Background Probability

The Agnostic Popular Front has moved to its new home at Skeptic Ink, and will henceforth be known as Background Probability. Despite the relocation and rebranding, we will continue to spew the same low-fidelity high-quality bullshit that you've come to expect.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Genesis 34: Besotted rapist provokes vengeful two-man killing spree

I've sort of given it all away with the post title this time.

Chapter 34 doesn't naturally lend itself to sermons, but it would make for a fine movie. Prince Shechem became deeply enamored of Dinah, spoke tenderly and sweetly to her, and raped her, though not necessarily in that order if you take the text as chronological. He is willing to do anything to make Dinah his wife, even if that means going to the public square and there persuading all of his men to be circumcised immediately. Imagine what an amazingly motivational speech this must have been! I'd bet it would put even the great St. Crispian's Day speech in its place, though the phrase "hold their manhoods cheap" would doubtlessly have been used to a very different effect by Prince Shechem than by King Henry.

Shechem and all his men are duly circumcised, excited at the prospect of finally getting to select for themselves wives from among the foreskin-phobic Hebrew daughters. Before they are healed, and while they are still presumably bed-ridden with pain and infection, Dinarh's two brother's go on a killing spree throughout the town, putting every man to the sword and taking for themselves all the various forms of property found therein. The Bible itself remains unclear on whether these men are to be considered war heroes, inglorious bastards, or both.

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